Hall of the Monkey King

i just found my cd for sale on amazon . that is unfathomable that it is selling for that much. i could make a killing!!

what is the word that defines the ability to pick up on others emotions? is it 'empathy'? 'Sensitivity'? whatever it is, i need to get rid of it. i need to chuck that and 'conscience' right out the window. while i'm assessing my intangibles i might as well amp up my psychic abilities. because, although being aware that someone is upset with you and distancing themselves and not understanding why is the shit, i am totally lying to you. i have somehow, inexplicably, accumulated a substantial amount of syllables in one sentence. also, i have gathered around me a large number of people who's behaviors confound me. that two of them are ex-girlfriend's who have a great capacity to consistently tell me something and act accordingly, and by accordingly i mean just the opposite, must say something about me. i'm sure if i kept in touch with a couple others they might also be doing the exact same thing. am i drawn to this kind of bullshit? am i my own anti...

An odd concoction. Sometimes I knock back a couple of shots. Sometimes it's the other way around. It says something about me that most of my good memories are tinged with sharp edges or that if I stay too long it begins to taste bitter. Not necessarily something pleasant or a proud picture of myself but there you have it, a piece. Of the short term variety I have none. The rest that stick around I use for entertainment, to create and forge my identity. They usually don't come empty-handed. For an example, there is a particular smell that comes upon me and I will always stop what I am doing to let it linger. I wonder in those moments if it is an actual smell that I came across that was the same or the memory of the original. She brings a smile with her, but of the sharp or bitter variety, she is the latter. I am going to present to you two memories of a similar nature. With them I will demonstrate something. It's just that I don't know what it is yet. So bear with me ...

i think i ate so much i gave myself a headache.

Due to some hardware issues, my computer may shut itself off any minute now so I will give you a few keywords to sum up this past week. Feel free to tie them all together in any way you see fit. One short arm, large quantities of fried chicken, clown porn, chicken and rice guy, family guy, traffic, meetings upon meetings, ramen spices, 39 cent stamps, stupid spacebar, glorius 3D. please, discuss this amongst yourselves. sooner or later I'm going to have to find the parts I need to fix this here computer.

There are bills to be paid and you're just the one to do them for me. Right? Right? Hey where are you going?

RIP Mr Vonnegut

I just woke from a dream. I was running across oddly shaped rooftops made of colorful plastics and metals, but it was getting dark so I barely noticed them. It seems I was in some sort of race though the object didn't seem to be to win. I remember coming to one of the last rooftops and pausing. It seemed slightly dangerous and it sloped rather sharply. The surface of the roof looked something like shoots (not the bamboo variety but the "...and ladders" type. At the end of this slide was a large tree. In front of the tree stood a very pretty girl that signaled for me to come ahead as she would help keep me from hurting myself. So I took her to her non-vocalized word and realized I was a sucker as she stepped aside at the last minute allowing me to slam heartily ballwards into the tree. I remember that I felt disheartened and slightly ashamed. Distancing myself from everyone, with a select group of people I wandered off. Here I remember trying to seek approval fr...

And to begin with, I will give the requisite gripe about work that, let's face it, those of you who have good jobs use to reaffirm this fact. Because, really, how can you honestly compare your job to one that has a tv show dedicated to it or has been circulated through e-mail ad nauseam (ie. a job where you run the risk of having a jelly fish sucked through a tube into the crack of your ass.) My job is a soulless lifeless job. This attracts a certain type of person. And they have, in all their stereotypical goodness, landed into the cubicles surrounding me. We will return to this momentarily. For now I am here to tell you that this post contains a purpose. And this purpose is what gives life to this paragraph. I need help. On several matters. So, if you kind folk could see it in your hearts to lend a hand I would be eternally grateful. And by eternally, I mean until you've forgotten about it. I have a passion for the arts. Specifically music, but I have at the very lea...

pp ?? Whoa, I just magically turned all of my words into 2 p's. weird. Hell hath no fury like the IRS scorned. What I mean is this, the IRS is like a little financial parasite. Only not so little. STOP TAKING MY MONEYS LIKE I HAVE SOME!!!! Apparently, due to an oversight I owe a vast sum of money. By vast I mean more than pocket change and less than my potential lottery winnings. So one of these days I mean to post some photos of the various 'gifts' I've been gifted throughout the years. There are some gems in here and you will all be so jealous. This year I got me a nice bone and bamboo mahjong set. Love me some mahjong! Anyone wanna come over and play? I'll be glad to teach ya. For the passing of one year to the next I celebrated by having my cranium disintegrated and alternating between freezing and sweating. It was a good time had by all. Thanks to those of you who stopped by and wished me happiness. I will be visiting you all shortly. I am always am...

ah...i've been negligent. tis true, this blogging thing may have been a 2 year flash in the pan. and let me tell you, that's a long time to be standing in cookware with nothing but a trench coat.** but, i believe it's time for me to sink back in. how do i know it's time? well, see, i've got these thoughts i feel i should share with you. right now i'm certain that you are all gripping....well gripping something in eager anticipation for the bountiful truths that i will bestow upon you. firstly, it occurred to me the other day that if you have a bizarre fetish, not your run of the mill foot fetish, or dom/sub fetish, or even pee fetishes, not the hirsutes or even pony play types, i'm talking throw up fetishes or caprophagia or dress up like a giant baby and be spanked with spatulas by a woman dressed like the wicked witch of the west while singing bay city rollers songs offkey with a twang of elvis, that if you find someone who shares this interest you ...

2 unfortunate names i've come across at my job forming one unfortunate sentence, now the topic of one unfortunate post. my name, as you may know is 'shin'. this caused me much distress in my younger years. imagine if you will the cruel machinations of the child's mind. imagine the unbelievable amount of nicknames and bad jokes i was subjected to. one guy actually believed himself clever by calling me 'leg' for about 2 years before i had to save us all by dicing him up and feeding him to some unsuspecting fools in the form of slim jims. ** i was once introduced to a girl who's first response was not "hi, nice to meet you" but chose instead this witicism "people must kick you in the shins alot." i decided that i couldn't be bothered to continue the relationship and ended it before it even began. the curse of my name is that it sounds very similar to another four letter word. and i found myself responding to loud swearing. at parti...

i got this in my e-mail today curtesy of glomgold . Naked man arrested for concealed weapon Sat Nov 4, 12:41 AM ET EL CERRITO, Calif. - A man was arrested on suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon after police found him outdoors - naked - and he told them he had a tool in his rectum, authorities said. The man was lying on a tree stump, masturbating beside a nature path, near a Bay Area Rapid Transit station Thursday, police said. John Sheehan, 33, of Pittsburg, was initially arrested on suspicion of indecent exposure. But when asked whether he was carrying anything police should know about, Sheehan mentioned the tool, said El Cerrito Detective Cpl. Don Horgan. "You can't get much more concealed than that," Horgan said. Officers drew their weapons and firefighters were called to the scene. Sheehan removed a 6-inch metal awl wrapped in black electrical tape without incident. Sheehan, who was paroled from state prison last week, was then booked into jail on suspicion of pa...

ok, so there i was minding my own business, just a readin' over here , and she decides to put a link that goes here and i can't resist the lure of finding out how many people are named 'shin'. there are 1500 of us. that's right, the shins. and more than, hold on.... MORE THAN 99.9% of us are female. wait a minute while i get my abacus out.....that's MORE THAN 1498.5 of us are female. just under 1 1/2 of us are male. of course, there are '0' people in the US with my brother's first name, so this site could be complete rubbish.

my house is haunted. sometimes i forget. then it reminds me. for some reason it shows up most often around the changing of seasons. it's happened several times now. i'm too lazy to look up the links for my previous posts so go hunting through the archives or just deal without them. it's happened now enough times that i know exactly what's going when it does occur. i have a tendency to sleep on my side. my left side with my back against the wall protecting me from my neighbors. the first time i felt a presence in my room it was in the corner between my door and my tv, which as it turns out is where the guy who occupied the room before me felt it. but then i felt something hovering over me and experienced something that is akin to absolute terror, without the fear. my body becomes paralyzed and i feel the hairs begin to stand up. i feel as though i have been dragged out of deep sleep, no dreams happening here folks. i have lucid dreams so i know. when it first happened ...

there is a portion of time somewhere in me, blocked off in chunks of pre-me, 'me' being the current and up to date version, that spent itself in constant motion. moment chained to moment with shackles made partially of vibrance and partially of adrenaline dipped in a rainbow well of emotion. sleep was for the weak and what little bit i dabbled in came in spurts and was usually never in the same place. every night was an adventure, a quest, a party and i reveled. amidst this revelry there was a girl. she was an angel, or dressed like one anyway. so i took her with me. i brought her home once, though not my home. nor hers. and only once. in this time and place, faces melted from one to another and very few of us stayed the same, so hers was noticed only because it was near mine. in a half a dozen cycles of the moon i learned i'd made a mistake. this, in a time when mistakes did not exist. and so i waited patiently for this mistake to go away. eventually it did, t...

early friday morning i was lost on elm st. that's right, Elm St....on Friday the 13th....with Halloween just around the corner....chased by the Army of Darkness. btw does anyone know why blogger sometimes only uploads a fraction of a picture? see well, they look ok there but if you enlarge any of them, WHAMMO!....only portions.

hello hello! after last nights debacle with frying chicken i was worried that i might have to hang up my spatula and give up cooking altogether. but tonight i may have redeemed myself with the remaining better batter dipped bird of potential sustenance. mmmmMmmmm. that was some tasty chicken. super crispy skin with all sorts of herbs and spices. too bad you can not have any. ps why the fuck can i not use the apostrophe? every time i hit it a little "find text" window pops up at the bottom of my screen? what sort of voodoo is this? malarky also...i'm reading The Man Who Japed