Hall of the Monkey King

3 blog posts in one week?!? I know! What the fuck?!? so i was over at glomgolds house of love (love of cops, magazine customer service and orange cleaner) and was inspired to compile a list of things i've been pulled over for. no full stop at a stopsign (backroads, 2:30am) speeding (40 in a 35) speeding (98 in 55, 2 more seconds i would have been off the highway, 2 seconds earlier he would have nailed me at 120 in a 55) improper lane change (2 nights into my owning a license, didn't know cops didn't follow speed limits and tried to switch lanes into him) failure to signal (at a fork in the road, i was going straight/right) highbeams in on coming traffic (after midnight, backroads and i turned them off as soon as i saw headlights coming the other way) left rear wheel cut over the corner of one of the double yellow lines while making a left making a suspicious left turn (yep) after that i stopped paying attention for two reasons 1) my friends and i were getting pulled...

an unfortunate discovery today. clearly the consumption of coffee, while having the desired of effect of shocking the system into a false sense of alertness, has certain drawbacks. we'll disregard the withdrawal headaches and crankiness for now and focus on a certain diuretic effect. the delicate pounding of the bladder. the incessant call of the porceline gods. all leading to adventures down the hall in the men's room. now, i have no complaints about the sanitation abilities of our local custodians. in fact, i'm damned pleased by it. the tiles on the walls gleam with a reflective quality. were i the vain type i might admire my coif as i released my post liver filtered coffee. i happen to be an observer. little things, like having lunch in the cafeteria with some co-workers and noticing that our IT tech just came in and grabbed an armful of coffee packets. everyone else saw him and probably caught that he had just pilfered the coffee stash, enough so that he was droppin...

As the minutes crawl by they pause to laugh in my face before continuing into the slow pile they've created that will eventually be constructed into an hour that will in turn mock me before passing on. I've tried to distract myself with all manner of office games ranging from e-mailing other office inmates, sneaking games of sudoku, and writing about the slow progress of time. Through the wall I hear the chattering of an angry call. No one else understands what they hear but it is my native tongue and my native ear wriggles and folds in to keep the words at bay. Veins course sluggishly with caffiene that will eventually settle in the stomach lining that will slowly dissolve away into ulcer. Synthetic coagulated adrenaline brings an artificial sense of awake. In truth I won't be awake for hours. And they are slow to come. I've been carefully questing through the internet and somewhere a server marks my passage. What I've discovered...

what?

so, firefox just crapped out on me. i've lost most of my passwords that were saved and all my bookmarks. but the thing that bugged me the most was that now when i come here the text bounces back and forth from bold to regular text and it was hurting my eyes. i never did figure out why it did that sometimes. anyway, i'll soon have this up to snuff again.