Hall of the Monkey King

yep

how can the definition of the word 'picaro' be 1. PICARO? a picara is a female picaro and a picaro is a picaro. what the hell is webster trying to pull here? i was trying to find the spelling of 'peccadillo', so that i could use it in a sentence and appear learn-ed. but now that i see the definition i may not have been using it in the right way. then again it tells me the definition of picaro is picaro. does anyone else read the dictionary or am i once again 'the freak'? i often find myself in this category, or the 'weird' or 'strange' category. although the people who tell me this are usually saying this to me in a friendly and jovial way. but i wonder, do the people who don't tell me this really think i'm weird (ie. those that are not my friends) is it along the lines of "if people make fat jokes around you then you're not fat yet"? then again....i'm not trying to be weird or freakish. it just se

whew... after days of interrupted sleep i finally got a decent (if you can call sleeping on a couch decent) night's sleep. these supernatural activities sure can be cumbersome. whether ye be believers or skeptics....it doesn't matter cause there's a ghost residing in my room with me. after two nights in a row (3 within a week) of being woken up i needed to get some real rest. 13 and 1/2 hour work day today, i was busy dodging poetry in the mud. as for the spook....i was somewhere in the middle between skeptic and believer. even after the first two times it sucked me out of deep sleep into what can only be called sheer terror without the being scared part, i was still questioning whether i was just freaking myself out. the other night did me in though. deep sleep into full conciousness with terror, skin crawling and all that. this time it felt as if it was right on top of me, touching me. i was still ok, until i tried to move....and couldn't, then i tried to talk.....and

whatever my landlord paid the roofers to fix our leak (6 or 7 times) is way too much. considering we have 7 different leaks here. i might just go and tar the bitch myself and withhold rent. more later....grumble grumble it's later now....and i just finished watching a really crappy movie.....it wasn't even crappy enough to be funny....well maybe it was....but D.B. Sweeney was in it...... ok...so bastards.....one would be my boss......one would be in a wheelchair....(now before you get upset at me for that....understand that if you knew her, you would hate her too....in fact anyone who does....please back me up on this. she touched my 'junk' for christ's sake. among other things, like flashing me daily at work, telling me she was envisioning me naked...etc....i was sexually harassed by a midget in a wheel chair with a public access tv show.).....oh and the guy who rear ended me last december, yeah....he's bastard too. this guy rear ended me. now,

is this better? than the last one?

me, smoking foreign cigarettes, drinking an odd mixture of limeade and sprite, fingers numb from funking, belly full of ribs, yep..... on the way back from the movie tonight i happened to look up and see a fiery object fizzle away into the night sky. i've seen comets and shooting star and this didn't look like it. at first i thought it was a plane or something. eh...who knows....maybe it was aliens. you know, looking around my room right now, i noticed that i have cd's piled up everywhere, several books with bookmarks in them scattered about, snacks in several places, and screwdrivers. what do you suppose this says about me? the answer to all of this is probably obvious. except for the screwdrivers part, i don't think i ever realized that aspect of my personality. next time someone asks me what my interests are i'll have to mention screwing. addendum- i dunno if this has anything to do with it but check this out. go see shaun of the dead.

i had this weird dream the other night where i was at work but walls were where they aren't anymore and nothing else was there. so we (myself and a couple hundred other non-existent employees) simply sat along the edges of the room and created chattering noises. later it was tomorrow and i hadn't gone to work yet (i hate when work shows up in my dreams but i'll accept this one) because i was busy celebrating a friend' sister's surprise birthday party. the party was a hit until the zombies showed up. in the end i was feeling fluish and was late to work, but i needed to help them clean up all the blood and body parts before their parents came home. i painted a wall on the outside to cover the blood. the next night i had a dream i was telling my friend (the same one) about the first dream. i'm sure a towel showed up somewhere in there too. damned towels.

sifting through the derelict portions of my mind, i had come across a memory. now i'm not entirely sure how to spell it, but i had an image in my head, even a texture, and a sense of discomfort, all having to do with the fact my parents made me wear leider hausen (sp?). that's right, it was while i was eating my first ever brisquet that this dormant tragedy first appeared. something for those of you who know me to mull over. for those of you who don't, just trust me when i say that i'm very obviously not german. (though not an impossibilty i suppose) this sudden appearance makes me wonder now, if there are other such things hidden away in the dark creases beneath my dome piece. and if so, how to dredge them out for the humble purpose of enteraining you, the reader. here's another one as an example, years ago, when i was but a wee lad, i apparently stopped everyday, on the way home from the bus-stop after school, at a tree in front of this

but he came to the Lacuna Coil signing to give them an autographed picture of himself. reality for this guy must be something else. today i cooked some chinese food. i think my stomach is broken now. kim would have hated my meal. too much meat. but oh so good....if i do say so myself. my roommate washed his meal down with some Fresca (a citrusy soda). for some reason there's brominated vegetable oil in it. i don't even know what that means but vegetable oil in my beverage (brominated or not) sounds absolutely disgusting.

here's another monkey

after some consideration on the matter, i've decided that there should be a prerequisite of simple mathmatics for anyone who has a job handling money. for example, say i go to White Castle to get me some burgers. and say i use the drive-thru. if my total comes to $4.94 and i give $10.19 (so i can get a quarter back for laundry purposes) this shouldn't create a problem. i actually watched this guy look at the change, for no less than 45 seconds, give up on it and drop the change back down and reach into the till for a $5 bill and 3 pennies. those of you with a solid background in arithmetic may have already noticed that $5.03 + $4.94 does not equal $10.19. any who didn't get this....well....i forgive you because you don't a register to help you. i didn't bother with the short change cuz i really don't care, but.....how could this guy not be able to figure that out? on a completely different note.....a strange towel showed up yesterday. for those of

there were many questions i was gonna ask on etiquette. then i thought that it might be rude to ask them somewhere that people involved might read them. kind of a neat irony there i suppose. i will say this....earlier this week some discussion arose between a friend and i. which led me to ask whether he believed in an afterlife or not. the question was simply so that i could get an insight into the way he views things. he began to sputter about it being a difficult question to answer. which i replied that i had a 50/50 chance of getting it right already because there are two answers to choose from. he went on to say that what it was he believed in didn't necessarily (is that right? it doesn't look right) fall "after" life and didn't fall into what was generally considered "afterlife". now....i believe that the basest reason that language exists is communication (and to vomit on blogs). literature and poetry are evolutions of this reason mixed with

The last time i watched Videodrome i was suffering from 103 degree fever. Boy did that mess me up. this time when i watched it i remembered that was feverish when i watched Dead Ringers too (the whole ride home i thought there was a crazed gynocologist hiding in the back seat waiting to do gynocological things to me). i think that david cronenberg is out to get me. so on a curious whim i did a google search on Hall of the Monkey King. i was surprised to find 13 entries. course one was me, and another was a reference to me (hi mom). but still, that means that this collision of ideas had occured before me. i can't abide by that. there must be a cleansing. on a different note. i'm a little peeved....where was the future that was promised us? i haven't seen one hovercar yet. sure we have stain free pants now but when was the last time you saw a cool movie with stain free pants? noone has caught the loch ness monster. aliens haven't invaded our planet looking for water

i've just been chastized by a cigarette company via e-mail for being impatient. then they apoligized for the delay. what is this i'm feeling? another example.... i was named employee of the month yesterday (i didn't even know we had employees of the month, let alone that there were others or that i could even be one.) then today i was "talked to" twice about eating a cinnamon bun off the clock. what is this? i think i'm confused.....is confusion an emotion? if not....what purpose could it serve? is it some weird survival instinct passed down genetically from some primordial being? answers!! i need answers damnit! by the way....is this color really blinding?

yeah, i know there are a lot of syllables and silibants there but it suits my situation so.....suck it up. i recently discovered a band named - Tony Danza's Tap Dance Extravaganza. i didn't like them....but the name does have a nice ring to it. not as good as say... Infidel?....Castro! with songs like "The Violence of Hygiene" how can you go wrong? i've been doing some deep philosophical thinking today, and teaching myself some Flash animation and my brain may have dropped out of one of my orifices. so watch your step..... politics are stupid but keep invading my mind.....my housemate was telling me he thought that Kerry as a choice for the democratic candidate was a deliberate political move. he's weak as a potential president and the basic thoughts i gather from people around me are "Kerry sucks...but Bush sucks more". it seems noone cares (aside from Bush fanatics) one way or the other about him, they just want to oust the leader of th

t he name of this jpg when i found it was "uh-oh"

so.....not to jinx anything for her, but i just found out that my sister's old band is going to be on a cd comp put out by none other than Jimmy of Jimmy Eat World fame. first the Vince Neil porn thing, now this. all i've got is a trailer from a cheesy 'B' movie (more like 'L') kudos to her of course. just the green eye speaking here. for those of you counting (of the three or four people who see this) that's two porn references so far, two pig references, one panda, and monkeys. by the way....does anyone else seeing the secret letter 'k' at the bottom of the screen or is it just me? hmmm.....i think it was just me....cuz it's gone now.

ya know....I just typed up this huge thing....spouting my wisdom for all to read and enjoy and the stupid thing didn't connect when I posted it. Now it's floating somewhere in the ether and not here. Sorry to deprive you all of this glory but it really was big and I can't remember it all. I was gonna mention this though...did you know they're making giant pandas watch panda porn? To get them in the mood. Really....

At least three little pigs died so that my friends and I could enjoy all you can eat baby back ribs. Lip smackin good.

Apparently it's time for me to immerse myself into the world of blogs. Something about the word 'blog' has kept me from the experience, but here I am now. I was just finishing a nutritious dinner of split pea soup and creating a web page in which to house various monkey photos when I was struck by the idea. Why bother with looking for a web host? Why not just throw some monkey photos on a blog? hmmm......why? cuz it won't let me upload any pictures. Someone just ran over a skunk outside and boy does it stink.