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Showing posts from July, 2007

take no offense...

what is the word that defines the ability to pick up on others emotions? is it 'empathy'? 'Sensitivity'? whatever it is, i need to get rid of it. i need to chuck that and 'conscience' right out the window. while i'm assessing my intangibles i might as well amp up my psychic abilities. because, although being aware that someone is upset with you and distancing themselves and not understanding why is the shit, i am totally lying to you. i have somehow, inexplicably, accumulated a substantial amount of syllables in one sentence. also, i have gathered around me a large number of people who's behaviors confound me. that two of them are ex-girlfriend's who have a great capacity to consistently tell me something and act accordingly, and by accordingly i mean just the opposite, must say something about me. i'm sure if i kept in touch with a couple others they might also be doing the exact same thing. am i drawn to this kind of bullshit? am i my own anti...

Memories

An odd concoction. Sometimes I knock back a couple of shots. Sometimes it's the other way around. It says something about me that most of my good memories are tinged with sharp edges or that if I stay too long it begins to taste bitter. Not necessarily something pleasant or a proud picture of myself but there you have it, a piece. Of the short term variety I have none. The rest that stick around I use for entertainment, to create and forge my identity. They usually don't come empty-handed. For an example, there is a particular smell that comes upon me and I will always stop what I am doing to let it linger. I wonder in those moments if it is an actual smell that I came across that was the same or the memory of the original. She brings a smile with her, but of the sharp or bitter variety, she is the latter. I am going to present to you two memories of a similar nature. With them I will demonstrate something. It's just that I don't know what it is yet. So bear with me ...