Hall of the Monkey King

Recently I dreamed of vampires. It's rare for the undead to visit in my dreams. In fact, it's only been within the past few years that the macabre actually moved from my waking fantasy life to the sleeping one. I use my subconscious zombie apocalypse scenarios to see who I should throw under the bus. It's a nice little crib sheet to have in case of doom. It's no surprise, though, that the majority of people I see on a day to day basis are apparently expendable. The thing about the few zombie dreams I've had, they are so matter of fact. It's something I don't question, rather it's a puzzle I need to solve. So and so has just become infected, what can I do to keep their lumbering, festering self from infecting me and others around me? Should I build an enclosure from pieces of cubicle wall? This vampire dream I had, phew, the horror surprised me. Vampires are always such pansies, with their romantic aspirations and questionable existential struggl...

My cherished beloved nuts. Just 13 months ago, I was paying just under $45 a month for Comcast. I was paying $55 for just internet service (which was well worth it since I was paying more than that for shoddy DSL service before that. what a crap.) But they called me (whilst I was over in the Vegas way) and told me they would lower my monthly bills, all I had to do was get basic cable. Wait, says I, you want to give me more service and lower my bills? I thought it had the smell of Scam about it but was assured that if I discovered I didn't want to keep it my service would revert back at no cost. There was no cancellation fee or anything. Balls out! I gave the go ahead. So there I was blissfully immersing myself back into american pop culture. Ten years, sans tv. Boy did I forget how much I hate commercials. Here, my views of Comcast were highly elevated. I was pleased, nay, elated by the gifts bestowed upon me by the very gods of media......until I had to move. When t...