Hall of the Monkey King

Last night I recieved a mass e-mail. Within was a "heartwarming" story told from the viewpoint of the mother of a soldier. The setting involved a check out line in either a grocery store or some equally mundane retail establishment. It regaled us, the mass, with a story of a woman in a burkha who accosted the cashier who was wearing a pin with an american flag. The cashier responded "I'm proud to be an American and will always wear this pin." To which the burkha wearing villain replied "Why won't you stop bombing my people." Here we come to the crucial part of the e-mail. The part foretold by the title as being "the best reponse". A man put his arm around the soldier/son and declared loudly that young men like this one were dying to fight for her freedom. That she was in our country to escape something from hers. That if she was so willing to speak out now they would be glad to ship her right back to Iraq right now. Cheering all around!! ...

it's time to come to terms with the fact that i am clumsy as shit.....but really deft. first it was the dropping the soap in the shower and catching it while it was on route to the bottom of the tub. now i've managed to trip up the stairs with full glass of iced tea in one hand, a book in the other while chewing a piece of bread. and i managed it without spilling a drop. i know you're all jealous of lack of inner balance and my adroit handling of said lack of balance. many of you wonder how to go about walking into walls and still looking cool and impressive. and i wish i could teach you (and then market it on all late night cable channels and earn a lot of money) but it's simply something you have to be born with. so to all of you out there wishing to whatever lords of judgement you happen to wish at. don't fret, some day you will find your calling as well.

today i saw a samurai sword flash in the headlights of passing traffic. today i saw chest high grass become knee high grass. today i saw how someone shoots righty while sitting and lefty while standing. today i saw aliens on my tv. ummmm.....yesterday....

some thoughts i had today included: What the heck? Why is everything on my screen blue? I wonder who will cut the grass. X-files rocks. and finally, i'm a hard worker, it's pretty much accepted by everyone i've worked for and worked with. i've earned my bonuses (which to date is the monetary equivalent of umm...say about $150, give or take a few tax dollars....yeah...i know) so, where was i....oh right, i work hard and i'm good (for the most part) at what i do. now, while i don't particularly like him i'm sure tom cruise also works hard and he's very good at what he does, which is essentially, well...act like tom cruise. (don't tell me you haven't noticed that he plays the same character in every movie) but i look at my $150 in bonuses and compare it to the $100,000,000 he made for acting in War of the Worlds and well....i see an imbalance here. i know his supporters will point out things like he bought coffee for the crew. what's that abou...

nothing to say..... echo location.... her 21st art in dust (that's insane!) what?

As I sit here and type this two EMS vans are backing into the conjoined driveway between my neighbors' house and mine. To be quite honest I don't know them very well and most of what I know is heresay. But this is the second time they've been by in a week. Apparently, this past weekend they made a stop. This weekend I also saw their cat lying on the side of the road. Half of it anyway. I suspect whatever gripe I may have* should sit quietly inside my gullet since I can hear them yanking one of those gurneys out of the back right now. If I was a better person I might go out and see if everything is ok. But then, I know it's not and there isn't anything I can do, so I would just be sticking my nose into their business. *i don't mean a gripe about them. just any gripe in general.