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Showing posts from October, 2004

"There's nothing elephant in my veins", she said.

so, say a horny african bull elephant somehow was abducted by libyan terrorists and taken to india but Dubya was there and smote all the 'evil' and said bull elephant finds himself surrounded by a bevy of female indian elephants and has his way with them would there be a weird hybrid mix elephant? also, are female elephants called cows? on a similar note....are elephants smarter than us? if their brains are bigger than ours? say, badgers started killing humans for nothing other than our cuspids, we would probably hunt these badgers (badgers?!? Badgers?!?! We don't need no stinkin' badgers!!!!) into extinction. so if these elephants are smarter than us...do you think they curse our opposable thumbs? PS....the above title is from our illustrious wordsmith, Sara/Jesus/Destroyer of many household items. thank you

no title now

i may have mentioned this once before, but it is my belief that anything that anyone or any animal or any plant, any living thing, does, supports one of two things. that being survival of the species and survival of the individual. for example, laziness, at the root of it all, we are lazy because we need to conserve energy acquired from the food we eat and so we are inclined to save it by not expending it. thus, laziness. not saying that everyone who eats is lazy, but that is the reason it exists. in this day and age when food is abundant and obesity is an epidemic, we abuse this. now, concerning my belief on survival, i may or may not be right but it seems a logical conclusion. those with a strong religious leaning may disagree with it saying that it's only because this is how God would have it..etc..etc.... but, i think it is correct. if you see a flaw here please let me know. now, going from this idea how does one explain hatred? the logical assumption is that it is a defe...

mathmatics for the conception of a new orifice

1 me driving in the right lane + 4 lane highway + 55ph + 1 assmunch close enough to munch my ass = a doc martin enema administered by me into your soon to be new rectum.

one more thing

Didn't anyone else think that monkey was ugly?

Here's the Beef

my beef with computers.... not so much my computer, but my dvd drive (it seems to have crapped out) and my DSL connection (well it just sucks) and pop-ups.... ok thats it onto other things.... i've just recently picked up some goods....a couple of books by this China Mieville (you'll just have to imagine the accent ague , or is it grave? over the e in 'mie' cuz i'm too lazy to try to figure out how to get it to show up by tweaking code) i'm a quarter of the way into the first book " Perdido Street Station " pretty good...i've even had to keep a dictionary handy to keep up with this guys vocab. ie. dirigible, sortilege, thaumaturgy, bathetic, sedition, termigant.... some of these words i recognized but couldn't remember the definition. can't wait to finish it and read what he's got in the next book The Scar . it talks about a lady who committed infanticide, so her punishment was to have the kids arms grafted to her head s...

apologies part duh

ok....i had to do some digging around to find all my pop-up blockers and firewalls and what not to actually see the pop-up. looks like it came from the tag-board....so unless you guys really miss it.... poof...gone. also...if you still get them let me know. i've got all sorts of security stuff going on here and never see this stuff when i look. if anything else weird or annoying shows up...let me know and i will remove it if i can. FIREFOX get it.

apologies

for those of you who have been getting pop-ups...i didn't realize they were there. probably from the counter. anyway, it should be gone now. let me know if you still get one. oh and if you were getting pop-ups...get firefox. it is infinitely better than Internet Explorer.

it's illegal for a man to shoot off a gun when his female partner has an orgasm

there was brilliance here but everything got all fucked. so YOU the viewer lose out. just look at the heading for christ's sake.

social phobia and senility

i've just come back from a wedding. seems most of my friends are married now, and most of the conversations seem to center around various upcoming weddings, children, mortgages, etc.... none of which i can contribute. i feel like the single friend on a sitcom on the Wifetime network. what happened to days when people would tell me "so and so got so drunk last night that he passed out and cracked the floor of the bar with his head" or "i just saw so and so on tv standing next to Madonna (who's now named Ethel. she's also jewish and british. almost as weird as buying the elephant man's bones.). i can't believe he got a job as her bodyguard." or even "so and so tried to break into the Hostess factory last night." on a similar note...i seem to be having difficulties with social situations of late. i find myself not really interested in being in them. i'm trying to get over it by going out more often. i've had plans almost...
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that is one ugly monkey

by the way

does anyone know how to make an icon that windows will recognize? oh...and let me know if this looks funny on yer screen. i think it should fit to whatever your screen size is but....

Bastards....part deux

so....the other day, my boss took credit for something i did. now, i know that that is what bosses typically do. but he took credit for something i did and acted like it was a favor he did for me. what!?!?! tell me....what kind of person does that? what psychological reason for this? is he simply stupid and doesn't think i would connect these thoughts because he wouldn't? is it that he just doesn't give a shit about what i think? if that's the case...why bother doing it in the first place? is he trying to compensate for some lack of ability that he feels he should have (i know i think he's lacking)? bah.... if you haven't been to my brother's site...i recommend it....click here

interactive blogging

i've decided i will probably update the links more frequently. how long should i leave them up? if there are any that people think should stay there let me know. or if you have any cool links let me know as well. if you get one that is dead, let me know too. that said....if you have a fast connection i highly recommend the last two links. you'll need speakers for the first one.

politcal diatribe and tripe

so.....i was just surfing around....and i've come to a decision, most people who support bush scare me. i'm not a liberal democrat, i'm not a conservative republican. when you get right down to it, i disagree with much of both parties. the thing i've noticed is this....those that don't support bush (does anyone really support kerry?) have simply decided they don't like him. those that support bush blame the media and the "bleeding heart liberals" because they are all unamerican for the problems in the world. they still insist that the terrorists that caused 9/11 are from the middle east so we are at war with Iraq. i don't know why we're there...who do you believe? does it even matter anymore...we're there now.....what are we gonna do? back out now? i've also noticed that bush supporters get very defensive and aggressive. (by the way, i still think michael moore's a jackass) one guy's site i popped into, has the b...

so many disparaging thoughts....not enough anonymity

i seem to be much more susceptible to moods lately....if there happens to be one in the air it clings to me. (i just found a mis-spelling in my dictionary. that throws everything into question now. damn you webster, i trusted you and twice you've let me down. time to get a new one.) one thought i will share....i had made an appointment with a doctor a month ago for today at 2:00 pm. (my lunch hour) and had to wait until 2:45 in the waiting room. i paid for a 5 minute visit. why bother making an appointment at all? bitch.... at least i got my scripts so i can stay happily medicated. i just bought the shawshank redemption. gotta watch 'the sharktank redemption' special feature