on the fence
ok, those of you of a purer ilk may want to read this with a blindfold on. not that there's really gonna be anything worth censoring though.
for most of my life i've been the guy who's kind of oblivious to the attentions of the ladies. i figure it out eventually but....well...you know. also in regards to my life with the opposite sex, it's always been a little ....weird. examples then, in high school, pretty much every girl my closest friend went out with had either hooked up with me or tried to. the first, well, one day the three of us were hanging out on her bed in her room. before i realized it she was tickling my tonsils with her tongue. on the way home i asked him if it bothered him. he said no, sooooo..... i wasn't seeing anyone at the time. light petting led to heavy petting led to....well one day she came right out and said it, she wanted some rotisserie action. i declined on grounds of 'i'm just not that good friends with you bub'. later on in life she sucker punched me and took advantage of me.
seeing as if i go into details this could go on for some time and we'll never get to my point, let us skip through the rest of my high-school/college years. minor dalliances will also be dropped from here on in. since college i have dated several women. one turned into a stalker who is now labeled 'don't answer' in my cell phone. one was pure as the driven snow (was). one was a clown. one cheated on me with a woman and some crystal meth. one spent an evening with me, some handcuffs, a blindfold and a giant candy cane. one liked porn. one kissed like a dog lapping from the water dish. the point of all this? well...i'm no saint.
another odd thing with me, i attract my friend's girlfriends. i don't know why, but this has happened several times. with the exception two paragraphs ago, i have never taken advantage of these situations. even if it was 'ok'. also, i was once 'hit on' by three generations of one family. in this vein, i can think of at least two mothers of friends who have made offers to me and a few more who have flirted but not gone past that. i have never taken advantage of these situations either. the point of this? i have a moral or ethical lean to my non-saintlyhood.
just last night i was thinking about all these things. it's been almost a year since i last had any kind of 'relations' with a lady. some time ago one of the girls i mentioned above stole my heart. then she shoved it in a blender with some pain and pureed it into a liquid before injecting it back into me with a rusty syringe. so i've been a little touchy about this kind of stuff. but last night, i pondered the idea of lonely. most of my friends have drifted (during my time with my soulmate/bane of my existence). in all honesty i only keep in regular touch with one person outside of family or household or work. with the ladies i flirt voraciously...but not with any real intent.
so this is the emotional blanket that has fallen upon me. this is where my head is at. then today a hot young girl asked me out. now....it could be just an innocent gesture. i'm old enough to be her....well...her dad's dirty younger brother. i don't really know her at all, and have avoided it because of her age. not that i have a serious issue with that. i have a friend she married another friend who was 10-11 years older and they are perfect together. still....it is an issue....if you take my meaning. now i'm left with a decision. suggestions?
did mention she was hawt?
for most of my life i've been the guy who's kind of oblivious to the attentions of the ladies. i figure it out eventually but....well...you know. also in regards to my life with the opposite sex, it's always been a little ....weird. examples then, in high school, pretty much every girl my closest friend went out with had either hooked up with me or tried to. the first, well, one day the three of us were hanging out on her bed in her room. before i realized it she was tickling my tonsils with her tongue. on the way home i asked him if it bothered him. he said no, sooooo..... i wasn't seeing anyone at the time. light petting led to heavy petting led to....well one day she came right out and said it, she wanted some rotisserie action. i declined on grounds of 'i'm just not that good friends with you bub'. later on in life she sucker punched me and took advantage of me.
seeing as if i go into details this could go on for some time and we'll never get to my point, let us skip through the rest of my high-school/college years. minor dalliances will also be dropped from here on in. since college i have dated several women. one turned into a stalker who is now labeled 'don't answer' in my cell phone. one was pure as the driven snow (was). one was a clown. one cheated on me with a woman and some crystal meth. one spent an evening with me, some handcuffs, a blindfold and a giant candy cane. one liked porn. one kissed like a dog lapping from the water dish. the point of all this? well...i'm no saint.
another odd thing with me, i attract my friend's girlfriends. i don't know why, but this has happened several times. with the exception two paragraphs ago, i have never taken advantage of these situations. even if it was 'ok'. also, i was once 'hit on' by three generations of one family. in this vein, i can think of at least two mothers of friends who have made offers to me and a few more who have flirted but not gone past that. i have never taken advantage of these situations either. the point of this? i have a moral or ethical lean to my non-saintlyhood.
just last night i was thinking about all these things. it's been almost a year since i last had any kind of 'relations' with a lady. some time ago one of the girls i mentioned above stole my heart. then she shoved it in a blender with some pain and pureed it into a liquid before injecting it back into me with a rusty syringe. so i've been a little touchy about this kind of stuff. but last night, i pondered the idea of lonely. most of my friends have drifted (during my time with my soulmate/bane of my existence). in all honesty i only keep in regular touch with one person outside of family or household or work. with the ladies i flirt voraciously...but not with any real intent.
so this is the emotional blanket that has fallen upon me. this is where my head is at. then today a hot young girl asked me out. now....it could be just an innocent gesture. i'm old enough to be her....well...her dad's dirty younger brother. i don't really know her at all, and have avoided it because of her age. not that i have a serious issue with that. i have a friend she married another friend who was 10-11 years older and they are perfect together. still....it is an issue....if you take my meaning. now i'm left with a decision. suggestions?
did mention she was hawt?
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