my life in cars.
having just told you about the tree incident , my first car accident, how i ruined christmas "for Everyone" and my car getting totalled in a hit and run accident, i thought i might run down the awful automotive history of my life.
car #1 after that first incident i purchased my dad's old car a plymouth colt. this vehicle lasted me a year or two. in that time i launched it onto some railroad tracks where it was stuck for about 3 hours. i had been in a fight with (we'll call her Pam) over some drinking issues she had* and well.....i had 20¢ so i walked to the payphone and made the one call that managed to save my sorry yellow ass. the death of this car came in the form of hick from pennsylvania. she was driving this enormous vehicle. in fact she drove this enormous vehicle through mine. i was actually slammed over the median into oncoming traffic. after instinctively pulling over to the other side of the highway, i got out and walked through traffic to see if they were all right. her response was to yell at her toothless 15 year old son "Don't talk to him!" you hit me bitch!! and i came over to see if you were ok!! fuck you and your inbred ways!! car = totalled.
car #2 the next car i also bought off my dad (this cost me my inheritence from my grandmother and whatever money the insurance company gave me. i suspect i got ripped off) it was also a colt, but made by dodge. my dad had a thing for these cars. he had three in a row. this one lasted me through most of my college years. with this car i learned what it felt like to be anally raped by crooked mechanics. the cv joint went on it. i had it "fixed" (at Sixth Ward in New Brunswick New Jersey) . that cost me somewhere between $700 and $800. but it wasn't fixed. so i brought it back. "no...this is something else....blah...blah..." end result another $300 or so. but nope that wasn't fixed either. i brought it back again (warrantee suckered me) and they charged me another $700 to replace the other cv joint. this was the year i taught myself how to take apart most of that car and reassemble it myself. the end of the car came on my last day of work at Taco Bell. the axle fell completely off my car (thanks Sixth Ward) in the middle of a busy intersection. side note: this car had a race war going on the side of it that started with a swaztika carved into the side. backwards i might add. then others responded to that. i had nothing to do with any of it and have no idea who did.
car#3 was a dodge aries. it lasted a day under a month. the head gasket blew. that would have cost me triple what i paid.
car#4 this gem was purchased off of a friend of a friend. it was a dodge shadow. the thing was literally in the shop every three weeks for the life of it. (no kidding) i vowed never to own a dodge again. the guy who sold me this lemon was also one of those Amway guys. (some weird pyramid schemey sort of thing) tried to sell me shit. the bastard.
car#5 this is the one in the picture. it was the only one that never gave me a problem. so of course some one totalled it in a hit and run accident. read about it here
car#6 land yacht. the thing took more fuel than was legally allowed by law. i needed a car fast and a friend of mine had to unload his fast. it was cheap so i took it. at some point it decided it no longer wished to go in reverse. parking became an issue.
car#7 present car. a tree fell on it.
*(this relationship and the drinking issues led to a point in my life that involved a car chase, my house being staked out, cops dropping me on my head, being handcuffed to a wall for most of a day and being charged with some felonies and other stuff. but this is a story for another time. also, the charges were all dropped because they were bogus)
car #1 after that first incident i purchased my dad's old car a plymouth colt. this vehicle lasted me a year or two. in that time i launched it onto some railroad tracks where it was stuck for about 3 hours. i had been in a fight with (we'll call her Pam) over some drinking issues she had* and well.....i had 20¢ so i walked to the payphone and made the one call that managed to save my sorry yellow ass. the death of this car came in the form of hick from pennsylvania. she was driving this enormous vehicle. in fact she drove this enormous vehicle through mine. i was actually slammed over the median into oncoming traffic. after instinctively pulling over to the other side of the highway, i got out and walked through traffic to see if they were all right. her response was to yell at her toothless 15 year old son "Don't talk to him!" you hit me bitch!! and i came over to see if you were ok!! fuck you and your inbred ways!! car = totalled.
car #2 the next car i also bought off my dad (this cost me my inheritence from my grandmother and whatever money the insurance company gave me. i suspect i got ripped off) it was also a colt, but made by dodge. my dad had a thing for these cars. he had three in a row. this one lasted me through most of my college years. with this car i learned what it felt like to be anally raped by crooked mechanics. the cv joint went on it. i had it "fixed" (at Sixth Ward in New Brunswick New Jersey) . that cost me somewhere between $700 and $800. but it wasn't fixed. so i brought it back. "no...this is something else....blah...blah..." end result another $300 or so. but nope that wasn't fixed either. i brought it back again (warrantee suckered me) and they charged me another $700 to replace the other cv joint. this was the year i taught myself how to take apart most of that car and reassemble it myself. the end of the car came on my last day of work at Taco Bell. the axle fell completely off my car (thanks Sixth Ward) in the middle of a busy intersection. side note: this car had a race war going on the side of it that started with a swaztika carved into the side. backwards i might add. then others responded to that. i had nothing to do with any of it and have no idea who did.
car#3 was a dodge aries. it lasted a day under a month. the head gasket blew. that would have cost me triple what i paid.
car#4 this gem was purchased off of a friend of a friend. it was a dodge shadow. the thing was literally in the shop every three weeks for the life of it. (no kidding) i vowed never to own a dodge again. the guy who sold me this lemon was also one of those Amway guys. (some weird pyramid schemey sort of thing) tried to sell me shit. the bastard.
car#5 this is the one in the picture. it was the only one that never gave me a problem. so of course some one totalled it in a hit and run accident. read about it here
car#6 land yacht. the thing took more fuel than was legally allowed by law. i needed a car fast and a friend of mine had to unload his fast. it was cheap so i took it. at some point it decided it no longer wished to go in reverse. parking became an issue.
car#7 present car. a tree fell on it.
*(this relationship and the drinking issues led to a point in my life that involved a car chase, my house being staked out, cops dropping me on my head, being handcuffed to a wall for most of a day and being charged with some felonies and other stuff. but this is a story for another time. also, the charges were all dropped because they were bogus)
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