Grand Onion
it's been said by many people who have less interesting lives that the strangest and oddest things happen to or around me. in earlier posts i've documented some of the strange characters i've come across and some uncomfortable living situations. i think i also mentioned that i was not aware for years that things were happening like this until a girlfriend of mine pointed it out to me.
i suppose that's not entirely true...i mean...my house was staked out once and i was in a (albeit not a very fast one) car chase. so i'm aware that some of the things that happened are a little uncommon. i remember stealing loaves of bread and feeding a bunch of friends for a week. someone else stole some meat and we pitched in for 17 cent worth gasoline to start the grill with. i remember walking into random stores and talking people into giving me free stuff (usually food, sometimes cigarettes) i remember living off of the $20 worth of quarters i got from beating up a newspaper machine every week. one thanksgiving it was snowing out and with everyone i knew away on family things i had to sleep at a bus stop. but this is all history...the point is i guess i knew somewhere deep inside me that my life was not in sync with most.
after i was made aware of this i couldn't (and still really haven't been able to) get over it. i started writing things down on little scraps of paper, napkins, gum wrappers, whenever something happened. but for some reason...most of this stuff stays in my head. i was telling me friend Heidi (cute blonde who lived in a haunted house) about it as we went into the Grand Union to get some junk. i wanted to get some tobacco so i had to wait at the curtesy desk. there was an older, heavyset black woman in line ahead of me. so i leaned against the counter and Heidi leaned on whatever was across from me. suddenly a man wearing hip-waders stomps in between us. a little odd, but not too out of place. i turned to Heidi to ask if she saw him when an old woman cut in between us with her shopping cart, did a 360 spin then barked with a low decible sound of gravel "Do I need toothpaste?!?!" flabbergasted Heidi tried to say something to me when the lady in line in front of me turned her head in mid sentence and projectile vomited onto the floor next to her. she then continued as if nothing had happened.
this memory was inspired by Alli Deluxe. go there and gasp at her carnival of blogging delights. she likes the attention. cheer her on as she trashes STBX. marvel at the wonders her children must experience. and find her post about her public "display" (you may have to dig but it's worth it). that's right...i'm pimpin' her site. and if you want me to pimp out yours.....leave me a comment.
i suppose that's not entirely true...i mean...my house was staked out once and i was in a (albeit not a very fast one) car chase. so i'm aware that some of the things that happened are a little uncommon. i remember stealing loaves of bread and feeding a bunch of friends for a week. someone else stole some meat and we pitched in for 17 cent worth gasoline to start the grill with. i remember walking into random stores and talking people into giving me free stuff (usually food, sometimes cigarettes) i remember living off of the $20 worth of quarters i got from beating up a newspaper machine every week. one thanksgiving it was snowing out and with everyone i knew away on family things i had to sleep at a bus stop. but this is all history...the point is i guess i knew somewhere deep inside me that my life was not in sync with most.
after i was made aware of this i couldn't (and still really haven't been able to) get over it. i started writing things down on little scraps of paper, napkins, gum wrappers, whenever something happened. but for some reason...most of this stuff stays in my head. i was telling me friend Heidi (cute blonde who lived in a haunted house) about it as we went into the Grand Union to get some junk. i wanted to get some tobacco so i had to wait at the curtesy desk. there was an older, heavyset black woman in line ahead of me. so i leaned against the counter and Heidi leaned on whatever was across from me. suddenly a man wearing hip-waders stomps in between us. a little odd, but not too out of place. i turned to Heidi to ask if she saw him when an old woman cut in between us with her shopping cart, did a 360 spin then barked with a low decible sound of gravel "Do I need toothpaste?!?!" flabbergasted Heidi tried to say something to me when the lady in line in front of me turned her head in mid sentence and projectile vomited onto the floor next to her. she then continued as if nothing had happened.
this memory was inspired by Alli Deluxe. go there and gasp at her carnival of blogging delights. she likes the attention. cheer her on as she trashes STBX. marvel at the wonders her children must experience. and find her post about her public "display" (you may have to dig but it's worth it). that's right...i'm pimpin' her site. and if you want me to pimp out yours.....leave me a comment.
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