Life is a bucket of disappointments

Big Ed's BBQ ripped my heart out and batted it into oncoming traffic. no more gorging myself on so much pork that i feel like puking for a month. bah...i think they just closed too. we were there about a month ago.

also this so called meteor shower was barely a drizzle. i think i saw 4 shooting stars tonight. one of them was pretty cool. after that i called it a night because my neck snapped and my nuts burrowed themselves deep within my body. you could cut glass with my nipples it was so cold out. (well, in theory you could cuz if you tried i might punch you.)

in other news....we got a couple of the rodents that were looting in our kitchen. not before they crapped in my frying pan though. geez...i hope i don't get some weird mouse hepatitis.

also, i discovered today that the world has only existed for about 15 years....everything else is memories implanted by aliens to give the illusion of 'past'. that's why it's always so fuzzy. glitches in the system. fortunately that means most of the 80's didn't happen and we don't have to think about 'flock of seagulls' anymore.


hmmm...hmm....hmmmm

"who's johnny she said..."

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

5000

this thing has been fuckin' with me. he wants to fill his pool with rubber ducks looking for a date? walmart has the answer he drove his car into the dmv. that's right...into...and then renewed his license i guess this is cool... .extreme hacky sacking ... here.... tickle this girl they must know....right? if you're at work....close the door dick and jane pigtail and a video of as many japanese girls as possible trying to fit into a phone booth.....nekkid and seriously, what is up with injecting liquids into penises? why is that even an idea? hey, i had no idea half of those music links on the left were dead. how come you didn't tell me? ok i put some new ones up
Read more

another day at the office

As I sat down and prepared to begin the long process of absorbing nutrients out of my 99 cent pot-pie, freshly bombarded with microwaves, I began to glean understanding of the inner workings of the 'office' mentality. I've long said that I feel out of place where I work, that I don't identify with the people around me. That beyond small talk, I have little or nothing to say to most everyone there. I don't possess the 'ambition'/'kiss ass ability' to excel in this environment. But I digress. As I dug my plastic utensil into the crust of my savory and delicious pot-pie one of my co-workers said to another, "What is that?" Pointing an inquistive yet mildly accusing finger at the mush lying in his tupper-ware. "Hamburger Helper," he responded. In fact, if you were to ask him that question on any given day his answer would always be "Hamburger Helper". "Beef stroganoff," he embellished a little more. "You alw
Read more