My holiday wish.

Hello boys and girls. Today what we have here is a once in a lifetime offer. Suffering from chapped lips? Holiday cheer weighing heavily on your emotional psyche? Burdened with a vestigial tail? Well step into the circle and experience our new Pain & Anguish Tranferral System! No longer for the decadent, it's here today at an affordable price! Guys, have you ever wanted to let that special someone in your life know exactly what it means to 'take it in the nuts'. Ladies, are you tired of your man not understanding the emotional vortex that visits during you 'time of month', just pass it onto him and watch him become the understanding gentleman you always wanted! Suffering from a migraine of enormous proportions? Just share it with the throngs of holiday shoppers just sit back and watch the fun! That's right! No more problems for you, just pass it onto the hoochie that stole your man. Our new PATS® program will guarantee you satisfaction* all for a delightfully low price!
No longer will you be subject to ridicule! Tooth decay a thing of the past! The benefits are unlimited! Try it today! Don't be left behind with a hole in your wallet, credit card bills are for the chumps, just give it all to somebody else!

Also makes a great stocking stuffer! Don't wait, supplies are limited!




* Some restrictions may apply.