Hall of the Monkey King

This is one of the funniest ideas I've seen in a while. If'n I could swim I would be all about this. Aristocrats joke in card tricks (maybe this isn't work safe) Newscaster stung by a bee in the nether regions This is just not work safe. It's also kinda disturbing. I looked around at some of his other 'artwork' too. Weird guy. Some prankster and a toll booth .

whoa....can anyone explain to me what is happening in this video ? and is that james brown?

ok, so now that i've shed this dsl yoke and achieved the enlightenment that comes from having cable internet i simply don't have time to leave you anything worthy of consumption. so have a merry fuckin' christmas or something.

why do body fluids taste salty? of course, i don't know if all body fluids are salty.

If I could have a moment I would like to direct your attention here . Now, you're probably wondering why I would be directing you to something so dated and 2 months ago. And you're probably hoping I will answer that for you. Well, you're in luck, because I'm going to. The reason is this....are you ready? Ok, the reason I bring it up is because one of these heathen bastards ran up and stole my side mirror today. Right off my car! As I was driving! What balls! What nerve! I was distracted by my driving (ie, looking ahead of me) when he snuck me from the side and took off with my mirror in leaps and bounds into the wood on the side of the road. well...that's all i have to say today.

i just found this picture....should be 50 bands in there. example, see that guy in front smashing pumpkins? hmmm.....ok, go here for a larger image, didn't realize it would get resized that much.

So I was surfing around looking for some Random Chuck Norris Facts. As far as I can tell, this guy 's got the most. For some reason, everyone else stops at 30. update: here are some more at this guy 's site.

so i was at my chiropractor this evening for a final hurrah and it occurred to me that she was spending a lot of time massaging and adjusting my back through my buttocks. now i don't know if this is common practice. she's done it the last few times i've gone. was this typical? was she wrong to have spent time there? was i wrong to have enjoyed it? was i wrong to have asked for a happy ending?

This week it was once again brought sharply to my attention that I come from a different planet than those that share my cubicle filled world. As I gathered my pastas and meats and sauces into a paperish receptable in preparation for my daily feasting I made a quick decision to have lunch with some of my co-workers. It's not that I dislike those that share my lunch-time but sometimes I like to read instead spewing banalities back and forth. There's really only so much I can not say about weddings and bridal showers and dresses and such. You may have caught on to the skewed ratio of men to women....and while normally this would be considered a good thing (say if one was shallow and superficial.....), as far as I can tell there are only two attractive women there. This seems like it's an odd balance. I've always assumed that in any given group there would a certain percentage of people that are easy on the eyes and a certain percentage of people that make you taste l...

gobble

Karma is a shiny piece of candy behind a glass case and I'm a perpetual kid. Earlier I had frothed myself into good round of cursing over the amount of douche bags that I see on a daily basis. In fact it had worked itself into a nice little post. Let's give an example shall we? Say it was dark out and it was pouring rain....I know I know random speculation but bare with me for a moment.... now imagine one of these aforementioned asshats is on the road with you. Yeah, that's right, I'm talking about you (jersey plate PJN-37A)! The one riding my ass and flashing your high beams because the handicapped driver in front of me wasn't going fast enough for you! That's right dick bag, the one that jumped over the double yellow lines into oncoming traffic to get around us. Ahem, well, I was wishing ill of him...see...but later I realized my life has been shitty enough that I didn't need to exacerbate things and bring some karmic return on my ass. So I don't ...

* has nothing to do with me. though i do get some red hairs in my goatee . The benefit of being allergic to alcohol is that for most of your twenties you will be the most popular guy because you can drive everyone home from the bars. Who doesn't love that? Whenever you meet someone at a bar you have an automatic topic of conversation. "Are you serious? You're allergic to alcohol? I'd kill myself if I was allergic!" Thanks buddy, what are you saying here? If you're asian you get an additional bonus. " Where are you from? No...Originally . You know I've heard alot of asians are allergic to alcohol. Lactose intolerant too." You don't say, that would explain the awful stench in my drawers. But I've come to terms with this already. Until today, apparently being allergic to alcohol offers another benefit of not being able to get flu shots. Who knew? Not me certainly. Let's talk about some more Asian cinema. Have you seen Old Boy ?...

With the increasing frequency of his DSL connection's disfunction, he was unable to focus his energies into the task at hand. It was an important task, one that needed attention. Much was riding on it. But without access to the internet nothing could be done. It was as though the gods had begun in earnest to thwart him. The weight of his daily routine weighed upon him in such a way that it had a supernatural quality to it. He became subdued, reticent. His life laquered with complacency. If only access to this ethereal world was made readily available things would be different. It's reach was beyond that of any one god and everyone knew that the gods would not work together. Crom! Ah...the gibberish bleeding from these lips. See these discordant words and hear them flower darkly in your mind. I am wretched you see. Bilking time, lifting moments from your pocket. And now I will give you a haphazard movie review. First on the docket, a little thing ca...

WHAT!?? I've got nothing to say.

If one were collecting deer carcasses for, say, shocking art, or a late night snack, or maybe to start a line of luggage made from their hide and call it Carrion Luggage, one need only travel down the road I take to work everyday. As the weeks have scrolled by I began noticing them in the backdrop. At first it was an ugly smear across the road ending in a pile of unidentifiable rubbish. What other creature has the capability to turn life instantly into trash? How bold, how exciting! And so I drove, day in and day out over the blood soaked highway carefully teaching myself to avert my mind. Then it was me swerving into the other lane to avoid contributing to this macabre play called "My Drive to Work". In my mind I pictured a horde of turkey vultures swarming around the dead deer, rending in their own beaky fashion for the tasty flavours provided when asphalt mixes with meat. I saw the world swatting these vultures one at a time with a Chevy Suburban or Ford F-350 or one of th...

The other night I was busy not being able to sleep and it occurred to me that this phrase is only appropriate in limited context. Which is, quite frankly, unfortunate. In my unslumbered mind this brought to me memories. And so now I present a question prefixed by a story. Prepare yourself. Some time ago a friend of mine, who harbored bisexual tendencies and fantasized of women's feet, and spent her remaining time racing cars, happened into a public restroom. Her natural tendency was to go for the roomier handicapped stall located at the end so she could sprawl in all her public restroom ways. As she passed the inferior stalls she happened to glance over them. Now I'm sure that she hadn't expected to see anyone as all the doors were opened, but there she was. The higher end of a century, sitting there wrinkling with a pile of clothes pooled about her feet. Odd as this was, she then, upon seeing my friend/her saviour, bleated out a weak and strained "help." Now my f...

wanna see a water balloon popped in space?

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the post below was actually twice as long but the bottom half was doing this weird thing where if you ran the mouse over the text it would shift in size and become bold . it was giving me epileptic fits. i have to sit down and fix the code in this thing. too many weird glitches. and so because of my lack of initiative and some poor coding you have all been robbed of some of the most brilliant writing known to all of mankind. in fact, this writing that you missed, well, it cures cancer. it would have given us world peace, it would have put an end to tyranny and greed. the noblest of us would have used it to guide us into an everlasting nirvana, a utopia. so uh, yeah....ummm....sorry....

During my drive to work I've discovered a few things that you might be able to learn from. One, if you have to live on a highway, try to arrange it so that when you're pulling out to go to work you can go to the right as going left means you have to kill someone before there is a break in traffic big enough for you to launch into. Next, in the case of a merge, let's say in a situation where two lanes become one, perhaps you thought that you were limited to driving in the one lane that everyone else is in. This is not true, you can if you want jump out of the line and speed down the road in the other lane and skip 20-30 cars and cut back in further on ahead. Or perhaps you're not the gung-ho type of aggressive driver perhaps you're of the passive aggressive persuasion. In this case you can eliminate the concept of two-lanes and drive right down the center to block would be agressors. Now if you were me, you might rig your vehicle up in Spy Hunter fashion and snap a b...

hello! so here i am again. where have i been? well, i've been working on my plans of world domination by infiltrating the gene pool!! yes indeedy. ok, i have no real explanation. i've been struck by fits of extroversion intermingled with moments of seclusion and hermitage. neither is really conducive to blogging really. also not conducive to blogging is THE FACT MY FUCKING DSL CONNECTION DROPS WHENEVER IT JOLLY WELL FEELS LIKE LEAVING ME GASPING LIKE A VIRTUAL SILICONE FISH OUT OF FUCKING WATER, WHICH BY THE WAY IS ENTERING MY HOUSE IN BUCKETFULS VIA LEAKS IN THE FUCKING ROOF!!! in different news, someone from deep in my past has resurfaced and i've enjoyed spending some time with her. it's brought back strange fits of nostalgia. i also had a close brush with possible contact with the girl from my story. (the one you may or may not have been following from a few weeks back.) it seems the story will most likely not be finished, so i'll just jump right in and explain ...

put aside the fact i'm approximately a decade older than necessary. now consider this, tonight i was carded for alcohol i wasn't buying and am unable to drink. so of course this was the one time i left my wallet in the car that was clear across the parking lot. then after i trekked to and back from said car he decided that, no, he didn't really need my id after all. my day has been crap, from front to back, the only good moment was going to see The Constant Gardener . a terribly fine flick. ralph fiennes is very good. i've liked everything i've seen of his. though Spider was long enough that i won't have to see it again, still, it was good. by the way, for no apparent reason AIM just popped up.

The house was a refuge for the wayward. People were accepted with little to no questions. For example, Gus moved in one day, grabbed a spot on the floor next to the furnace and laid down his sleeping bag. He was a liar, we all knew it. But what we didn't know was who knew him, how he found his way here. He threw in money when he could for bills and rent. Nothing was ever set. None of us cared that he worked in the meat department of the A&P, but he lied to us about it. He had elaborate stories about working at NBC. Which impressed exactly noone. The head of NBC was always giving him steaks. One day, he vanished. The cops showed up not too soon afterwards. Apparently he had gone home with one of the 'rich debutantes' who came by every so often and made off with $10,000 worth of jewelry. For another example: It had been years since I had heard her voice and at 7:00am I'm not at my best. I wouldn't call her voice melodic but it was soothing and...

News regenerating mouse smart killer whales BY ACCIDENT punched his way out of a shark attack NOT safe for work how to suck on your own junk ummm....someone made this painting on naked people Games i suck at this Spagetti Monster game but the Beer Shooter i can do i also suck at the Unicycle game haven't really tried this Mystery game yet Others " Protecting ignorant christians from homosexual predators " a recording of a russian exorcism what's with the fake boobs ? Yum 5 year old mom ***NEW*** heh .... karate .... for those of you who missed it, fierce breakdancing . who will win? Conan or the bear ? Weezer game Shark vs Octopus video if anyone finds an end to this let me know. ( 34 solved, 2 mistakes )

i was having some difficulty with the spelling of the word "vacuuming" so i decided to use the spell check. when it got to the word "voidlike" it suggested i replace it with "poodle's". now you know Part One , Part Two , Part Three , Part Four , Part Five , Part Six , Part Seven , Part Eight , Part Nine , and ummm Part Nine . ______________________________________________ A smile would have cost too much and none could be spared. The ugly barrage of words pounded arhythmically, dissonantly against the protective wall, chipping it, leaving scars. Tears burned, looking for air and trailed down cheeks, salt in wounds. I watched as forgiveness was strongarmed into a waiting van, realizing at that moment that even the lies were lies. As the chaos of the last 72 hours began dropping out of my mind I realized an emptiness had taken residence somewhere inside me and it would be there for a long while. Eventually, it would at times become a peculiar salve th...

dentists...me hates them. they give me lots of pain and tell me it's good. i have a fairly decent threshold for pain but i like to let everyone around me know that i'm in it. yeah, annoying i know. but these dentist fellows have me gripping the sides of the chair arching my recently chiropractic adjusted back in pain. i managed to stay still and refrain from screaming out and socking the guy though. in different news. i plan on making some bbq sauce and grilling me some ribs this weekend. never done it before so wish me luck. or come over and eat some, whichever.

no....not the cheesey metal band (these are probably not work safe, but then again....) sex with dolphins ? this is messed up videos of neurological disorders and some toys ok, here are some games typing game sort of super break out -ish i keep dying oh and check out this house

All I have to say right now is that Sal is a lowly piece of shit. Please take that to heart.

i just watched collateral with tom cruise and jamie foxx. jamie foxx has surprised me as an actor. he was pretty good in this and in ray . as for tom cruise, well he's better at being tom cruise than ben affleck is at being ben affleck. i'll link the previous parts later. _______________________________________________ I had become friends with Dina during the outer fringes of the last house. It wasn't until later that I found out she was a dancer. She was a pretty blonde girl with a bit of what some call sass. Once, in a drunken haze she had vowed "I'm going to have him." This was made about Neighbor Bob the night she met him. And true to her word, the two of them have been married for several years now. It was never really in question. From the moment the two of them got together it was almost impossible to think of them as separate entities regardless of the fact he was ten years her senior. The wedding was down in New Orleans during the Jazz Fe...

quite possibly i've just eaten too much. click on this ...then turn up the volume....you won't regret it. nice one ! take a look at the url . games you're a mouse and you get cheese .....and you have a hat this game rocks! Hai Daniel San.

Years ago I lived in a dank dark basement that had artificial turf that did a poor job of pretending to be a carpet. And while I have a lot of good memories associated with said basement, there are two that really I could do without. One was that my iguana (the most hateful creature on this and any other plane of existence) died. His name was Gureau and we named a song after him on our cd. His dying isn't the bad part of the memory. The bad part had to do with a dinner date I had with a beatiful girl, or lack thereof. Since he died we thought maybe we should bury him in the backyard. Which we did, the services were very nice, we said a few kind words and expected him to claw his way to the surface, through the earth and stone, defying death itself to take one last bite out of my flesh transferring his undead lizard ways into my bloodstream......oh, sorry. So there I was cleaning out his tank and the bastard somehow managed to put me into the hospital. So instead of delicious ch...

i'm bored. so i'm getting in my car and driving west until i find a pool hall. hopefully when i get there all the inhabitants will have a combined total of more teeth than me.

Parts: One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight ____________________________________________ The crowd of people that flooded the house continued to grow so it was good when it moved out of the apartment into a house in another town. Like nomads, vagabonds, we followed it. The place was pivotal in our lives. In a time where only drug dealers had beepers, if you needed to find someone this was the place to go. There were enough people coming and going that whoever you were looking for, someone knew where they could be found. Anytime you wanted to know where a party was regardless of where in the county, this was where to go. If there was a show going on somewhere people here would know about it. If there was a trek down to the shore in the winter, if there was a gambling binge down in Atlantic City this was where it would begin. At this point in time we even had strangers from other states stopping by that noone knew. I remember an old man who drove cross country in a jeep...

Is it that it's enclosed that screaming in a car seems more venomous? We tossed thoughts, stinging, back and forth, frustration sawing through the material into the intangible. Inexperience leant a hand and the result was that my car ended up smack in the center of the train tracks, tires flattened. And no amount of anger was going to move it. The fight ended and I sent her home. She was drunk again and I was tired of fighting anyway. It wasn't our first fight and wouldn't be our last. It did however solidify my stance on the situation. Slowly she began the walk home, regret weighing on her, but not enough to keep her from getting drunk again, or fighting. But the problem at hand was, how was I going to get my car off the tracks. Lingering remnants of the fight took little bites out of me as I fished out some change to make a phone call. My first call was to my friend Jay. I had totalled his mom's car once and miraculously escaped unscathed. He laughed the whole way ove...

For those of you who don't know, my name is Shin. (Mr Shin Anigans...get it?) You don't get my real last name or google will find me. As of right now, heh I haven't a clue where it will take you, medical dictionaries, sports equipment, men with unique body part fetishes. I have a job where I have to speak to many people on a regular basis. And it's almost expected that whomever I speak with will say "I'm sorry what was your name?" at least once. They might even require spelling. And sometimes after spelling they just give up. As if I've refuse to tell them my real name and just picked a random word out of Webster's Magical Lexicon. Is this something that happens to everyone....meaning those of you with normal names, do you get this? Glomgold is excluded from answering this question as I know his name and it's not normal. Of course it isn't a body part. So as a break from my story, I will now lead you down a strange little trail of m...

It helped that the apartment was above the bakery in the middle of downtown. On quiet nights voices would echo and bounce from empty building to empty building. Storefronts, dead, bleak...uncomplaining. There were midnight football games played in the streets. Asphalt bruises and drunken grins. And there were always people at the house. The permanent residents were Norm, Jen, Crispy and Eric the estranged. Up until now you haven't met Eric. That's because he had been banished for being crazy. I had liked him but was wary after the madness. He had been dating a girl named Melissa who was living with my friend Martina, whom you will meet later. In passing Melissa had mentioned that she thought a certain model in a magazine looked sexy with his nipple pierced. The next day Eric showed up where she worked. His head was freshly shorn and he had a brown paper lunch bag. Silently he sauntered up to her, placed the bag in front of her and left the store without a word. Opening th...

some serious sand art )pop-up( healing with maggots (gross( di mak fish fights back addicting game i'm so going to be a pirate !! Glomgold.... take note

if this seems like it's a different story....it's a deception part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 ____________________________________ She sat in an empty auditorium with a friend. I didn't know them yet, but it seemed that they might have been waiting for me, so I introduced myself. They were a pair of giggles and that pleased me. One would end up as Fess's girlfriend. The other would get me arrested. We clicked together, slightly askew, she and I. We were the closest we could be without the burdens of romance. Though I suppose that at different times both of us would have liked to have felt it's weight. Her family was an introverted unit whose corners were folding in upon itself. They lived on the edge of town and I suppose some may have considered them 'low-end' society. I would be one of two people outside of the immediate family that set foot inside that house. Her parents owned the print shop smack in the middle of town, surrounded by other s...

that's twice i've said that tonight but all but one of you will only see it once. most of you may not even see it that many times. so i've just finished watching Garden State , and i'm glad i got it. i've a weak spot for these types of movies. plus...they mention the Shins quite often which of course is a good thing. they have a very cool name. so....i know that i need to visit other's blogs more often to expect others to come here, but for some reason i just don't seem to find myself with the time and most blogs are blocked at work. which bites because i'm not accomplishing much of anything with this time. years ago i took a creative writing class. and as you can see i got fuck all out of it. the teacher used the class to line his pockets by making his books required reading for the class even though we never once used them. this is how he ran the class. he gave us assignments, all of which were to write something...anything....it didn't m...

not sure if i'm finished with this but i thought i'd put it up oh yeah here: part1 part2 part3 part4 _________________________________________________ In the limited sphere of life we base what we know or assume upon what knowledge has been accumulated throughout our lives. The tiniest nuances in experience will produce various differing ripples. Two people living through the same experience will thusly experience it differently and thusly will react differently. We make our assumptions and judgements based on these and if we are not aware we are in danger of prejudging. As a group/herd/community, we tend to bond together in our similarities. We tend to be suspicious of that which is different. Even though all of us are in essence different from one another. Still, there is a sense of security in belonging and so with enough similarities a group/herd/community is born. If enough differences occur, then perhaps that individual is shunned or outcast. If differences occur but t...

Part the first Part the second Part the third _______________________________________________________ The soot of history stains. It gets into microscopic nooks, infintecimal crannys. Affecting, infecting, changing. It is a mechanism without awareness, without conscience yet carrying with it a power that spreads imagination thin, hammered into awe. Rolling with it's brother Time, it trails everything behind it. But it hasn't caught up with me. Or has it? There was a part in my life I was living out of trash bins. On nights that were clear I slept outside at the Esplanade, my home away from home. It was just above what passed for a train station in town. In fact, my friends would try the payphone there before calling my house. On nights that were poor I snuck into garages, I slept in lofts and at bus-stops. Do you have any idea how uncomfortable it is to steal frozen dinners from the grocery store? I lived on mac&cheese, left over burgers from fast food joints and ...

woohoo!!! fireballs ! if anyone does this let me know how it goes. when i found this it said "another video by tourettes guy", i didn't know there was a first one toast ? mass sheep suicide some ads from the 80's ok, i've said the japanese are weird but wow those taiwanese... whew weird cars how will you die ? wow , yeah...ok what the hell is wrong with you to go and do this? little girl playing xylophone more weird cars zombie game puzzle game

one two ____________________________________________________ Throughout my life I've known people who have gone to jail/done time in jail/should have gone to jail. The result of all this, I'm very good at Spades. Noone I know has been to prison though. Which is a good thing, of course. I know muggers who are now veterinarians. I know vandals who became A&R reps for very respectable record labels. I know drug dealers who now work on Wall Street. The house, Norm's house, was a bastion for this element. People running from the law would take refuge there. People in need of a place to sleep would crash there. People looking for a quick burst of excitement would stop by. At one point or another, I was each of them. But, I'm getting ahead of myself here. Let's back up then. Wind the spindle in reverse until life is a blur and we're sick with knowing, crying tears of indifference, salting the terrain with smirks and judgements. In a slow final spin we land u...

ok, this guy is just gross. and this guy is probably the most popular kid in school this guy hates horses this guy caught the biggest catfish....ever! this guy shows you how to sing using the doppler effect....and can run at mach one this guy got caught having sex in his car (no nudity) this guy does some bad-ass bike tricks....for 1899 and a couple of games: space invaders remake addicting game but the music will piss you off after a while and a pic of the ugliest animal that is all ok one more .....

Read this first.... __________________________________________________________ This is where it began but like the vagabonds that made up it's being, it moved constantly. When I knew where it was, I followed it. I was a part of it. It was a part of me. Like a viral dream it still lingers in my essence holding me back, keeping me from becoming one with the masses, from becoming just like everyone else. It's been said to me that women like men whom they think they can change. They like the image of the rebel. Perhaps that was what drove a couple of girls I knew into the house. They were dating the two brothers that lived there and the next time I went over the house gleamed. In the kitchen, the porcelain obelisks were gone. The stain in the bathtub was tediously scrubbed out of existence. George, however maintained his dubious habits. As did the two brothers. The stereo was stolen by the heroin junkies next door and the living room still showed signs of excess. Ev...

i did a little researching and my conclusions are that New Jersey has some of the crappiest highways around. granted there are about 40 states i haven't tried out yet. up until recently my least favorite highway around was rt 18 near New Brunswick. i used to live on rt 18 and to get anywhere i had to sit in traffic for about 10-20 minutes. it didn't matter what time of day or night, there was traffic at 3 am for crissakes! but now it's been replaced. while rt 18 means driving at an avg of 4 mph, the likelihood of someone coming careening out of nowhere into your car is slim. the new winner is RT 22! who ever designed this godawful road needs to be emasculated in as brutal manner as can be done. who designs a highway where all the major exits happen in the left lane? who designs a highway where there are constantly people popping out of the left side of the highway while your speeding your way across to the left lane to get to your exit? in conclusion however i'd ...

i'd been meaning to start putting these up a couple of weeks ago. but since then two things occurred. first, i suddenly had a lot of work to do. second, three quarters of this story made it into the wash and i've been trying to reconstruct them. it wouldn't be so bad except that they are the middle parts. so i have to make sure they line up the beginning and where i'm at right now. with any luck, i'll be writing again soon. ____________________________________________________ The house was unassuming, deceptive. It was a bum that sits quietly begging for change. A bum who's previous life never crossed your mind. Who knew it would become notorious? Who knew it would become more? When I first stepped inside 'dinge' grew substance and began tapping incessantly against me. What little sunlight, which wished to die, squeezed past the many towers lining the kitchen counter. Suggestions of time clustered in columns. Once they teetered but had since crus...

out of curiosity i did a quick google on "hall of the monkey king". how the heck can i be #17? in fact, people referencing my site get better billing than me. speaking of bills, there's a huge pile just staring me in the face. sigh.....

drifting throught the blogosphere i came across a post someone made about how the natural position of his mouth actually formed more of a frown than say a horizontal line. it reminded me that i used to know someone who was so horrid that when she smiled her face actually formed a frown. :( so the act of smiling was entirely in the eyes. and boy was she a bad faker. on another note, the new nickle sure does suck. i don't even know why it sucks. generally speaking it's kind of hard to generate any depth of emotion concerning coinage. but i stuck with it and i've come to a conclusion. it stinks. the only redeeming fact is that the buffalo has penis.

what the heck is going on here? last week i was collecting sweat in rare quantities and now my nipples are hard. mother natures gone daft and is taking it out on us.

i refuse to look up the definition of 'meme'. but i get the gist i suppose. so well, here's to you L : How many books have you owned? hmmm.....well, do comic books count? sans comics i suppose i have about 250-300 on hand. i think i'm currently only a few rungs above vagabond. for years i traveled with a circus and discovered that books are a real pain in the ass to carry on one's back. so i unloaded all the books i'd read (minus ones i was likely to read again) in boxes into my brothers care. i suppose that's another 200-300. and if we consider all the books i've traded in at second hand book stores for store credit and books i've loaned (indefinately) add another 50 or so then multiply by my interest level in the brad pitt, jennifer aniston, angelina jolie love triangle and well....about 3 books i guess. What was the last book you bought? wait...hold up....lemme think....oh yeah...Ten Plays by Euripides! i bought something else too but it se...

the weekend bullied me around a bit. i went out to try and get some middle-east/greek food, but alas....the place was closed. i went to get my meds from the pharmacy, but alas.....it was closed. there was a pattern developing here. i shrugged it off with my new car. but..... what the hell? the possible poltergeist that lives here locked me out of my room. there exists a key to the door. i went to go get it, but it was not there. the owner of the key was in maryland. around about philly he realized he'd left something back in maryland and wouldn't be home for another 6 hours. so i decided to take the hinges off. unfortunately, all of my tools were locked upstairs. i had to use a butter knife and a little gay hammer to knock the pins out. however the door still would not come out. in the end i had to grab an old bed frame and prop it up against this sort of enclosure that holds the doorway to utopia....or the creepiest basement in the world and climbed. i pulled the bed frame up ...

so I bought a new car. nothing fancy. but my first NEW car. the car i was previously driving was on it's last legs and i decided to unload it while i could still get some cash for it. for those of you who don't remember or weren't coming by when this went up, go here to read about my history with the invention of automobile. i just knocked on some wood. so the car i got was a hyundai elantra. i began wondering today though, if the elantra was a 'girl' car. you know...like the ford probe or the vw jetta. i hadn't thought so, and i wouldn't think so but the thought came unbidden to my mind. so i figured i'd toss it out and see what the masses thought. and by masses i mean you guys. ok....time for slumber

ok i never do this kind of thing but since it was Alli done tag me and i lurv me some movies.... 1) Total number of films I own on DVD/video: ok, now if we count boxed sets as one (ie. monster legacy set w/ 14 movies, or alien quadrilogy) i got me about 321 dvd's. yep....fortunately for my wallet i've replaced my dvd addiction with sticking my head in orifices. 2) The last film I bought: lessee.....oh right, i picked up Taxi Driver and History of the World Part I. i almost picked up the original Hobbit and Lord of the Rings, the animated one, but....i'm poor...and i needed to buy a handful of cd's too. 3) The last film I watched: John Carpenter's Prince of Darkness. Yeah boyee!! alice cooper at his acting prime! donald pleasance rocks your ass. yes he does! 4) Five films that I watch a lot or that mean a lot to me: hmmmm.....ok i have to think on this one ..... 1) Blade Runner....gotta love Ridley Scott doing some Philip K Dick. mmmm tasty existentialist thoughts...